17 January 2014
Dear 10 Year Old Me,
I would like to take the time to address that although you are at a tender age where you are trying to figure out the world around you and why people are the way they are, please do not ever give up on your lively spirit (it is a beautiful thing to waste).
You will have friends say they are your "bff" and they'll even declare it with a heart shaped friendship necklace then later leave you for the more popular friends, BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS-it will get better. I want you to look at someone a little differently than you do right now. At 22 years old, it has taken you once you become an adult to realize that your mom is your most loyal friend you will ever have on this earth. Not those girls who have bullied you, not those girls who have used you for your giving. Definitely not those who have abused your pure nature to get what they want. Your best friend is just two rooms away from you. You will go through so many things in life as you enter your teenage years and the one person who will never give up on you is your mother. She can be your best friend too, you know? She has so much wisdom, advice and love to give you! You just need to open up to the idea even if it is an unpopular one.
Also, the reoccurring nightmares that have haunted you for the past 5 years, they are not what defines you. You are not a slave to what happened to you. It will be 11 more years until you finally release it, but along the way you must know that God is in control. He is guarding your mind and heart all the step of the way.
Do not blush and get all shy, let us talk about the boy you are crushing on right now. I know I know he is your first crush. He is funny and that is all you are looking for right now. You are looking for someone who will make you laugh. To take you out of the reality of how miserable you feel. The more you laugh, the less you will remember what keeps you up late at night. Fortunately, he is not the one for you. Sorry darling, he is not what God has for you. Do not waste any more time wondering. Boys will not start liking you until well into your 9th grade year. This will be towards the end of your freshman year that your parents will allow you to wear makeup. You will want to in junior high but just know that you are beautiful without it! Seriously, do not try to fight your parents about "needing" makeup. They are teaching you that your inner beauty is what matters and it will show on the outside. (Side note: makeup ages your skin, so you will have youthful and radiant looking skin anyway!) You are now 22 and guess what, you still have not had a boyfriend. Do not sit there reading this so surprised, ok? You are special and different! Your taste will evolve and you will know what to expect! You will get several boys after you, but do not get excited! God is saving His daughter (YOU) for a faithful, God fearing and loving man (we'll see).
You will excel academically (smarty pants) and you will work hard in all the jobs that you receive. Once you get into college, please just always seek God first. With anything and everything, always put ALL your trust in God. Everything changes from your teenage years into early adulthood. You will lose friends, but your relationship with God is much stronger and your family is nothing short of a wonderful blessing.
You are an extraordinary young lady and I know you will be a tremendous asset to this world and all its inhabitants. Keep your head up and guard your heart with Gods holy word. I love you, Alexa-Rae. (You dislike it when people call you by your first full name, but embrace it! It is unique and is unlike any other name.)
All My Love,
Note: there will be people who will steal from you, forgive them. There will be people who will say, "I love you" and turn their backs against you, love them. There will be others who will threaten you, do not be afraid.